Different Parenting Styles
As a parent, your approach to your child is as unique as you are. You can’t just wake up one day and be a different person because you read a book or watched a devilishly effective mother on the playground. Parenting isn’t only a collection of skills, rules, and tricks of the trade. It's who you are, what your family culture is, and how you transmit the most personal aspects of your values to your child.But here are the facts: nearly 50 years of research have found that some parenting styles are more effective than others and show far better outcomes for children. There are four major parenting styles: permissive, authoritarian, authoritative, and hands-off. Most parents don't fall conveniently into a single type; instead, we tend to be a combination of several styles. The trick is to be flexible enough so that you make adjustments to your basic type — adapting your style by adopting some best practices from other parenting styles as well.
1) Take the following parenting test to see what type of parenting style you have.
Parenting Test
2) Blog about what parenting style you are and if it's similar to the parenting style you were raised with or not. Tell us one positive thing your parents did that was instrumental in developing you into the person you are today.
3) Read the following New York Times article on which parenting style tends to lead to more successful and happy adults. Raising Successful Children
I am a combination of all three parenting ways but the least is permissive. I am more of an authoritarian parent. I am very strict. I pretty much raise my son the same way my dad raised me…with one difference though, I am also authoritative. I have and give the time to guide my son the way I believe he should be guided. My father was just simply strict and gave an order and one listened. No questions asked...nothing! I least permissive because everything in my house is based off of rules and discipline is always in order. I do not cut my son any slack and I hold high expectations of him. One thing was missing and I think it is “loving” I am very affectionate with him and am also his best friend. You see us out and about and you would think we are brothers because of the way we joke around and talk but he knows his boundaries and where I draw the line in being too much of a buddy. I believe I had a good life career wise because of the way my father raised me. The way he raised me was perfect for the military and I found the military lifestyle very easy. Even though I was not a military brat (my dad did two years in the Army in the 60’s) he raised me with that military discipline. To this day I still respect him and hate it if I disappoint him. My mother was very permissive with us and very loving. She was definitely the soft spot in our lives. She taught me to have a heart and to respect women. Something I do to this very day.
ReplyDeleteWell this was really cool because surprisingly I was raised how my mother and grandpa raised me. I’m an Authoritative parent. While I was taking the test I was kind of feeling bad but at the end I see that it came out to be a good thing. My mother was one that always told me to speak my mind and tell her how I felt about things and how she had to ask her brother for help from him at times to give back to my up bringing. I feel that this was great that my mother did this because I see myself doing this now being a stepfather. I may punish them but when I’m with them they are filled with love. This also taught me to talk to my other half and say hay I need your advice and we to figure something out with how they are acting. When we fill the need that they are acting up we sit their and we will be like how do you want to roll with this. This past week I had to spank my oldest and I felt bad for it to the point that I had to pull her off to the side after a while and talk with her about what she did to make me spank her and we hugged after and we played after that.
ReplyDeleteAs most of you know, I have no children but in taking the test I answered in the way I would raise my child if I did. It appears I would be and athoritative parent. I believe that you recieve better response from a child when you show him mutal respect with out letting him forget that your still his parent and that he still has to obey what you say. I think my way of thinking strives from being raised in a authoritarian household. In my family growing up you did as you were told, you didn't talk back, or asked question and if you did any of the above we didn't get privileges taken away we got a spanking (putting it in nice terms LOL) This is why if I ever have children I want them to understand why the have to do what there asked, what are the consequences of doing something wrong, and that when I say something or ask for something to be done it's for there own good and that is how come there is consequences for disobeying your parents. Holding a child accountable for there actions is important to me and showing them from a young age that there is consequences to there actions is what I would like to achive with my child; making them strong, independent, and accomplished indivisuals. I don't believe that spanking works with everyone and all personalities are different; case in point, I have a friend that she has to yell at her daughter to get the picture about things and ground her she tends to speak her mind often which is not a bad thing unless she is trying to undermind her mother LOL. But with her son its different, he holds his mother in high regards therefore when ever she says, " I'm disappointed in you" or " you let me down" it breaks his heart and he is quick to get back in his mothers good graces. Although I would like my parenting skills to be different from how I was raised my mother and father have given me great morals, values, self worth, and work ethic and I hope that I will be as great as they were.
ReplyDeleteEven though, I am not yet a parent I have seen the affects of different parenting styles ranging from the extremes and the middle ground. I ended up being categorized in the authoritative parenting style, which is completely different than the parenting styles my parents utilized on my sister and I. My grandma raised me when I was younger because my dad was usually overseas and my mom always worked late, but when they did have time to be with me they exhibited both an authoritative and permissive parenting style depending on each situation. (Usually more authoritative) At times when I was upset they would buy me whatever I wanted to shut me up. During other times they both would be angry and frustrated, that the belt would come out. I’ve noticed their parenting styles have evolved because they utilize a different style with my younger sister, permissive, and usually give in to her demands. I do not agree with that style that is why I believe that when I do have kids my parenting style will reflect a middle ground in not overly giving in but not completely being demanding.However, one thing I appreciate is that both my parents have taught me a set of good morals and values, how to work hard for what you have, and how to do it in an honest way keeping your integrity.
ReplyDeleteOk, this is a real cool topic. I took the test but even before that i knew i was Authoritative style already. the reason being because I had to do a certain test similar to this one in Psychology in the spring semester. I'm a single father, and been this way for 8 years now. Had tough times along the way because I was so young and didn't have a book on how to do this and that in case of this and that etc. But i quickly took the role and been going at it strong and dedicated to being a fantastic father and parent to my son. I grew up without a father figure most of my life. My parents were split up before i ever got a chance to know what a real family felt like. I was and am close to my mother because she did a lot for me in both the father and mother roles. Taught me how to work on cars, cut the grass, cook etc. So when I had a son of my own, I made a promise to myself that I would NEVER be like my dad was and other so called dads out there and be around for him for anything and everything in his life! He's my world and i'm so into his school grades and goals for his life. I put him in all kinds of sports Baseball, Soccer etc. Im hard on him to learn manners and being polite. But also how to be independent by knowing how to cook, clean, and do what ever he needs done on his own so that he doesn't have a friend or woman do anything for him. And so he wont be down when times are rough and know how to get his way out of anything. I also loving to him though as well. I always tell him I love him every time I see him. I hug him and take him to shows, movies, parks etc. I teach him things my dad didn't and always remind him how he can always ask me anything he wants to know about, and tell me anything he needs advice on.
ReplyDeleteEven though I am not a parent i still tested high in the Authoritative style. I just think thats how i would raise my children if i had any. Growing up this is the type of style that my parents used the most towards my brother and I. I feel like my parents did a pretty good job using this style to raise me, and knowing how it worked on me by the way i turned out i will more than likely use this way on my children. My parents would actually sit me down and explain how they feel about whatever i did or why they are punishing me. And my mom probably did the most of asking how i was feeling or ask me what i needed, but i think thats typical for any mother just because we will always be their little baby. I would just want my children to understand why i would do things and just explain it to them.
ReplyDeleteI chose the answers in the quiz that best reflected how I believe I’d treat my non-existent children of the moment. The parenting style that I most identified with is the authoritative one, followed by authoritarian and then permissive. From young ages, my parents were very authoritarian (since I’m Asian and all, obviously…) towards my sister and me, especially my mom. Rather than having a positive effect on me and making me want to strive for the best, it really did quite the opposite. Throughout my childhood she would always compare me to this Asian friend I had who lived across the street, saying things like “why can’t you be more like her?” and “you’re stupid and you’re going to go nowhere in life.” She would constantly yell, pick fights out of nowhere and say insulting things; it kind of even seemed like she had a guilty pleasure for doing that but who knows. For a very long time I had feelings of worthlessness and didn’t try in school because I began to believe that I really did amount to nothing. My family members would tell me, “she’s only doing this because she cares” but that concept only frustrated me and I promised myself that if I were to have any kids in the future, I would learn from my parents and not make the same mistakes they did. At the same time, I think their parenting style also had the effect in making me think logically and be more level headed, and realize how much of a tough world it is out there. I also believe in not coddling children because I know how it can have negative effects in the long run. I used to have a friend whose mother is very permissive and didn’t know how to say no to her. She’d also constantly compliment her, but never any say critisicm. Whenever she did try to discipline her, she just acted kind of afraid and when my ex-friend would argue back, she would give in. Right now she’s twenty years old and has had no real job and just stays at home, and gets driven back and forth to class everyday by her mom. To me, that parenting style is almost as bad as being extremely authoritarian. I definitely believe in the importance of nurturing your child and complimenting and encouraging them, but also know when to lay down the rules and discipline them in ways that aren’t just screaming and spanking. You never know if you’re just doing more harm than good to your child and leaving them with emotional and mental scars that will stay with them for a long time.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I don't have kids and don't plan to for some time, I took the test and found that I would be an Authoritative parent. I found this interesting because my mom was always a Permissive parent and my dad was very Authoritarian. Growing up, my mom worked and my dad stayed home to raise us, so I grew up in a very disciplined, often argumentative environment. I was taught to respect my parents above everything else, however I am very independent which lead to a lot of conflict. By the time I was in middle school I knew enough to basically take care of myself if I needed to. My brothers and I pretty much did all of the work around the house while my dad went on month long hiking trips and my mom worked. Don't get me wrong, I had a great childhood overall and I love my parents, these are just the conditions I was raised in. I know that, while my brothers and I turned out well, I don't want to raise my kids that way. I do believe in discipline, there's no way my kids are going to be spoiled, however my parents discipline was so inconsistent that I never knew what to expect as a kid. The best thing that my parents taught me was how to cook and clean and take care of myself. After I graduated high school and moved out I was always the one who had to teach all my friends how to cook and do basic household chores. Another great thing they taught me was to always respect other people no matter how much you don't agree with them. In fact it's healthy to have disagreements, it means that you believe in something, however those disagreements shouldn't get in the way of at least being cordial with them.
ReplyDeleteThe are four major parenting styles are permissive, authoritarian, authoritative, and hands-off. Parenting isn’t only a collection of skills and rules its about a combination of these parenting styles combined. we need to be flexible in these and use them accordingly as a balanced set. the parenting style i am is in the order of authorative, authoritarain, permissive according to the parenting style test i took. and it's similar to the parenting style i wwas raised with even in the same ordering. my parents cared about me in a greqat deal but they taught me to knwo right from wrong and when i did something bad i did get punished very rarely it was punished through negitive way but normally i would get the you know what you id wronf and what i can do to fix it. i never really got smanked unless i like really severely hurt my sister. but my parents had us apolligize to one another and acknoweldge our mistake and know to to better next time or try not to let it happen agqain. one positive thing my parents did that was instrumental in developing me into the person i am today is the would make us go to confession at church and this allowed me to know that yes i make mistake and do wrong sometimes but i am human what matters is i can be forgiven and make things right. an example is when i stabbed my little sister with a pencil i hurt her and i was taught to feel remorse for my actions and acknowledge what i had done and own up to it and take responcibility for what i had done. my parents had taught me to sy sorry and mean it. they even had me do whatever my sister had set as my punishment. i didnt like when my sister got to decide what i had to. she picked for me to not have desert for a whole munth and gosh at the time that totally devistated me and i knew if i did anything wrong and armful to my sister i would have to face my consequences for my actionos. they taught me to be responcible and respectful. i am a responcible honoored adult and i know that no action doesnt go without an effect. i think about thigns before i do them, and make decisions based on what wrong or right..
ReplyDeleteThese are my own oppinions because i could not take the test for some reason. I think I am an authoritative and authoritarian parent. My mom was definitely the authoritarian type of parent her answer to all my questions was because I said so or who the mom is. My mom’s parenting definitely rubbed off on me in many ways however I try to be different from her which is where I think the authoritative parenting comes in. I hold my children to very high standards such as cleaning up after them putting clothes in laundry basket then sorting clothes out on the weekend. I explain to my kids more than most see fit on why I’m doing something or why I want them to do something. I think it is very important for my kids to understand why something is happening. I want them to know why they are being disciplined and understand what they did right what they did wrong and what they could have done differently. I like having conversations with my kids about things older parents might say is none of their business. I rather explain why you should wear your seat belt, go to church on Sunday, say your prayers before you eat and why I have to work and what my work consist of. Kids in this day and age are really smart and I think we should give credit where it is do and change our approach up from the old school. Don get me wrong something’s as far as respect goes never changes but other things evolve and are parenting has to evolve as well.
ReplyDeleteMy results displayed I am more of the Authoritative Parenting Style, far more than the others. I don’t find it surprising though, the questions did remind me of how my parents mainly were while raising me. I definitely feel I took on quite a bit of their parenting characteristics and behaviors. Although I am not a parent yet, I do pay attention to how others treat/ raise their children, as well as how my parents raised my siblings and I. While living at home I noticed many rules and restrictions my parents had for us and I wasn’t always too thrilled with them. At times I felt like I was being deprived of my youth and teenage years/ experiences. Now after graduating high school, and obtaining my certificate of completion for a year of college, moving out on my own, and getting a car, I can appreciate the morals and discipline they instilled in me while living at home. They were very protective, and very involved, very concerned. Their efforts did not go in vain though, each day I’m progressing and getting closer and closer to achieving my goals. They raised me well and I will make them proud.
ReplyDeleteAs many of my fellow classmates have stated above me, I am not currently a parent, nor do I plan on being one anytime soon, so I answered the questions how I think I would raise my children. My results came out as having an Authoritative parenting style with the Permissive parenting style being a close second, and Authoritarian coming in last. I find this really interesting because that’s what I would consider my parent’s style of raising the four kids in my family. Most of the time, I feel like they use a very Authoritative parenting style, mixed with some form of Permissive. From time to time I even saw the Authoritarian style from my father when I missed behaved as a child, whether it be when I got a spanking or when I was yelled at. My mother didn’t use this parenting style as often, or to the same degree, so I would definitely say this was never a dominant parenting style in my household.
ReplyDeleteAfter taking this test, I found that I would be more of an authoritative parent. I found this to be correct because I will have high expectations for my child(ren) and expect them to have high expectations for themselves as well. I found that my scores for the authoritarian and permissive parenting styles were significantly lower than the score of my authoritative parenting score. I was rather pleased with my scores. While taking this quiz, my mother came into the room and was quite interested in seeing my results. We both agreed that although it seems like it is a good test, its not really effective until you actually have children of your own. This being said, I also had my mom take the quiz. Her results were actually completely accurate of her parenting style, showing how while raising my sister and I, she was a good mixture authoritative and permissive parenting style.
ReplyDeleteAccording to the quiz, I (will) practice an authoritative parenting style. I wasn’t too surprised by it, as I have thought about how I would raise my children in the past. My mother is a combination of both authoritative and authoritarian, which, to me, makes absolutely no sense. I do see how they can overlap, but, from personal experience, it is really confusing. I don’t really know how to deal with my mother half the time- it all depends on which style she decides to take. And yes, you read that right- she doesn’t really practice both as the same time, she switches it up.
ReplyDeleteI understand the need, but I really don’t like the authoritarian style of parenting. The only thing my mother ever managed to do with it is to instill the fear of God into me about everything. When I was little, I knew her expectations of me veeery well, and the thing I feared the most was making a mistake and having her get angry with me. I just feel like there are better ways to go about it.
However, I can’t argue against the fact that I definitely learned my set of morals from the get-go. I have to say, her style of parenting was very effective in that regard.
If I was to have children I could see myself being a mix of Authoritative and Authoritarian but definitely not one over the other. I think the ideal parent would be a mix of those two, they would know how to understand their child and be close as possible to them yet be able to know how to have discipline for them. I noticed when I was younger that my parents were a mix of the both. My mother was definitely more of a Authoritative she would always try to make me feel better and be more comforting but she would also have authoritarian SOMETIMES. My dad was more Authoritarian definitely once I was getting into my pre teen years he was very strict with me and still is until this day but was a lot more back then. He had high expectations of me just like any other parent would but my dad had different morals, partly having to do with the fact that my dad is from Pakistan so they do not see eye to eye with Americans parenting style I guess you could say. My dad definitely was strict on me which caused me to not have as many "experiences" as a early pre teen or a teen would which really used to upset me. I used to always think he wasn't being fair and that all my so called friends would always get to go out and I wouldn't. My mom did end up talking to him back then and she told him that he can't be sheltering me all the time because once I get out into the "real world" once i'm in my late teens it will be like a culture shock for me and that I might end up doing something that he would probably regret being so strict and protective of me. She would remind him how they have both brought me up well and to trust that I will be great in my life which he had to accept.
ReplyDeleteTo this day i'm thankful for the way that my parents have brought me up. My relatives and other people are always happy to know that I turned out to be a pretty successful and strong minded young adult and I always tell them its the way that my parents taught me of course! I think it's important though to not be TOO HARD on your kids yet not be a pushover, there should be an equal balance. Too much of only ONE type of parenting can have a very negative outcome.
I took the test. I’m Authoritarian, the authoritative and the least is permissive.
ReplyDeleteI think it’s correct. As any parent I wish only good for my children. I had high expectations for both of them, but now I see that I was wrong. I tried them to leave MY life. Whatever I didn’t reach I wanted them to. I was raised in a military family. My father was 30 years in the army. Back then the highest position for a woman would be a doctor, operator or a secretary. I didn’t want any of that. I wanted to be in the intelligence or become a pilot. We moved to the US and my daughter joined the Navy for 6 years, but then she got married and sacrificed her military career.
Now my son wants to be a pilot, but looking at him I do not want it now. He rebels against anybody and everything in general. He has no self-discipline.
I took the test for my parents☺ The results were exactly as mine.
Though I do not have children of my own, I can be considered a person with an authoritative parenting style based on my beliefs and past personal experiences with children. I strongly believe that my beliefs regarding the development of children's behavior through parenting are molded by my parents' efforts to ensure I did not re-live their past experiences, being that they were both raised in highly authoritarian households in which the father-figure was presumably correct the entire time. As I grew up, my father constantly strived to become a better father to me than my grandfather was to him. This, I believe, allowed him and I to develop a better relationship with each other, as he often took my opinions into account when making small choices, such as places we would eat, travel to, and even live in. When our views would collide, he would attempt to understand my viewpoints, and only when necessary, would he step in to re-shape my views through past knowledge and experiences. He, however, was not a permissive parent, as he was not afraid to discipline me when I misbehaved, which, in turn, entailed an old-fashioned belt beating. Nevertheless, my father always made sure I was aware that he would hit me, not out of spite nor anger, but out of concern and love and proceeded to advice me to change my behavior. This is perhaps the most instrumental tool he had in my personal and behavioral development because I quickly learned to submit to parental authority at an early age, thus facilitating me to quickly adapt to the different rules I encountered throughout my childhood, adolescence, as well as a young adult.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I am not a parent, and hopefully won’t be until much later, I found myself to be an authoritative parent. Some of the questions reminded me of my mother, she raised me to be respectful not only to others but to myself as well. I feel her parenting style did well, so maybe taking this test helped me realize that if I were to raise my children the same way they might become successful adults. I’d probably be a little permissive though, because kids will be kids sometimes you have to let them make their own mistakes of success and have them learn from it, no matter how many time my other told me not to do something made me want to do it so much more.
ReplyDeleteThe parenting style that I scored the highest after taking the test was the authoritative parenting style, followed by authoritarian and permissive being the least. I currently do not have any children but I believe it is accurate. I actually am this way with my younger brother because I have raised him ever since he was a baby so i guess that's why i tend to treat him like he were my own. (My mother was a single parent so of course i was going to help her raise him while she worked.) Going through the experience i would say it was practice for me but it actually makes me not to ever want children. My brother does listen to me more than he does our mother but i guess it's only because i discipline him a little more than my mother does. I only do it for the best, not to be mean. I want the best for my little brother and have high expectations for him and of course want him to know right from wrong but i do believe i would be the same way if i were to ever have children of my own. Growing up i believe my mother raised me with the authoritative parenting style and still does with my younger brother.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteAlthough, I have no children of my own I know how I would like to raise my children successfully. According to the quiz on parenting styles I ranked authoritative, authoritarian and finally permissive. This quiz is closely accurate, reading the questions I realized as a parent I will always be concerned for my child's feeling and thoughts. Considering this is normal for a mother to care about their feeling , I think it would maybe hurt the child in the future due to so much attention and concern for what he wants. Now that I am thinking I believe it's important maybe to balance all four parenting styles equally to become a successful parent. According to the article on "Raising Successful Children" the happiest and "most successful children have parents who do not do for them what they are capable of doing", so doing to much for your child can hurt them in the long run. Now that I look back my parents raised me with the same balance of all four parenting styles. I know they were always concerned about my feeling, but they were also very authoritarian. My parents always raised me with values that I will never forget, but one thing I dearly appreciate is them giving me the necessary tools to become independent and work for what I have.