Love Addict Test
Why do you think some people fall in love and become love addicts while others fall in love but do not? Do you think that it's a matter of biology? Life scripts? Attachment styles? Self-esteem? Etc.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Is Love Your Drug? Blog #8 Due Friday, May 31st by midnight
The Brain in Love Video
Love Addict Test
Watch "The Brain in Love" video and take the self-quizzes at the links above and see what personality type you are and if you are a love addict. Now that we know that love creates dopamine in the brain similar to many drugs like cocaine and meth, we can now understand how many can become addicted to being in love.
Why do you think some people fall in love and become love addicts while others fall in love but do not? Do you think that it's a matter of biology? Life scripts? Attachment styles? Self-esteem? Etc.
Love Addict Test
Why do you think some people fall in love and become love addicts while others fall in love but do not? Do you think that it's a matter of biology? Life scripts? Attachment styles? Self-esteem? Etc.
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I think that a person's susceptibility to becoming a love addict is due to a multitude of different factors, however I think that ultimately it is linked back to Biology. We talked in class about how Manic lovers are most prone have low self esteem and to become addicted to love. But not everybody has the same hormone levels in their bodies. In class, you mentioned that men's testosterone levels decrease and women's testosterone levels increase when they fall in love. Would it be possible then for men who naturally have lower testosterone levels and women who have naturally higher testosterone levels to have a higher tendency to become love addicts? Or maybe if a person experiences hormonal imbalances due to age or medications, they could become more prone to love addiction even though otherwise they would not. Whatever the case, I believe that love addiction is directly linked to biology and genetics.
ReplyDeleteI believe people become love addicts due to lack of self-esteem. I really think it has little to do with biology. They are trying to compensate for something they have always lacked and they believe that the “security” of being in love will be a blanket of security for them. I have had some friends, especially in the military where you can live a lonely life in the love department, where they would fall in love with practically every woman that would pay attention to them. I would talk to them and it always seemed like they were trying to fill in the void of not having someone. I have also met some women who can break up with someone they “love” and within a week they are with someone else and they are claiming they love that person when in reality I think the rebound factor has kicked in and they hate to feel alone. I believe that if people slow down and really take their time in looking for what they want…or let it come to them they will finally find what they want. Maybe not find “true love” but at least be with someone they can be happy with.
ReplyDeleteI watched the video and took the test. Especially going through the test I realized how different “I’m” from “I was”. If I were taking the test 20 years ago I would have answered almost all questions “Yes”. Now almost everything is “No”. For some reason comparison to a car pupped up. It looks like I didn’t have brakes when I was younger. I know our thoughts are very powerful. I ‘m 95% sure that I do not want to have more children. I’m also sure that somewhere out there is my “half”, but the chance to find it is 1:over 7 billions, in other words there is no way! So, my body is not producing necessary hormones, or my body chemistry is not really normal, but age has nothing to do with it. I’m not a very sensitive person, but the thought that I will never, ever and ever really fall in love again makes me very upset. On the other hand there is a very positive side of being love free. Whoever remembers the movie Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull? There is a moment when they put all skulls together, everything started to collapse, and everybody ran away, but the Russian women. She was standing in the circle of those sculls and the knowledge exchange began. Though in about few seconds her brain was loaded she was saying: “I want more, more, more!” Now I feel like her. If I didn’t find love, oh well, I’ll find wisdom in knowledge.
ReplyDeleteThere are probably multitudes of reasons behind determining what makes someone become a love addict, but two reasonable explanations I can think of are low self worth and a lack of a father figure in their childhood. In high school I had a friend who I consider to be a huge love addict. At the time she had a boyfriend who she’d been with for over a year and she made him her entire world, just always smothering him and being clingy. I knew they both really cared for each other but at times he’d think it was too much to handle and ask for space. She didn’t like that idea at all and would become depressed and constantly log into his facebook account everyday to see if he’s talking to other girls and cheating on her. Sometimes she’d miss school for an entire week because she was so depressed and couldn’t get out of bed. Her father left her mom while she was pregnant with her and it made her sad to know that her dad didn’t want anything to do with her; I think she felt a lot of guilt and shame in knowing she wasn’t important enough for him to want to stay. It makes a lot of sense to me to think that her overwhelming need for love and affection is there to help compensate what she lacked as a child. Even after she and her boyfriend eventually broke up she was constantly on the hunt for someone new, saying that one of her biggest fears was being alone.
ReplyDeleteI believe that the main factor that differentiates love "addicts" from "non-addicts" is their perception of self-worth and independence; anyone can find and fall in love, yet only a percentage of those individuals would be considered love "addicts." Addicts, in my opinion, may hold themselves to lower standards as opposed to the people that surround them. This, I believe, results in a low self-esteem, as Carlos stated, and thus, creates the illusion that their happiness, as well as their level of self-worth, is dependent on having a companion, regardless if their "other half" is abusive or not. On the contrary, a non-addict believes that their life, and the happiness therein, is neither defined nor dependent on the existence of companionship. Moreover, non-addicts have the ability to successfully live a life alone for longer periods of time, if not their entire lives, due to a high sense of self-worth and independence. Ultimately, I believe that love and the addiction love can be more accurately defined as a mixture of biology, chemistry, and sociology, but do not, however, pertain to any one single branch of education.
ReplyDeleteI think a person falls in love when they let their self be vulnerable in a situation where their wanting to be felt wanted. Theres nothing wrong with wanting to be loved. But when you are not sure of what you actually wanting to have in the long run with this partner you share you thoughts and feelings with. It can cause some damage onto both of the partners. being an addict to love is bad or good depending on the person becoming the addict. If you know that you're the type or person to always share your thoughts and where about's to your partner. Always telling your partner what you think of the future between the two of you. And your partner already knew this is how you are and were when they got involved. Then this probably will be just fine for you to show and express. On the other and, if you have held this deep inside between your self and your partner on what you really feel and how you just like to left alone to be free in doing what you always like to do and want to do without having to express how you care about another's feelings should not insist in the love bond and stay clear. It has to do with chemistry between the two i believe in the end. If there's the right things in common and the feelings the two have are strong and connect. I feel the mind will balance the chemicals just right so that when you least expect it you fall in love and probably will be shocked at first, but in all happy if this is what you been wanting to have.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to being a love addict, I think it has to do with the self-esteem aspect more than anything else. More often than not, people are not love addicts when getting into their first relationship or finding their first ‘love’. In this first relationship, they open up with no worries, not having scars from past relationships to hold them back. But, for one reason or another, the relationship ends. With the ending of this relationship, they get hurt and experience their first heart break, which makes them cold and scared of opening up again. That’s another issue on its own though. While in their first love relationship, they experience the “fairy tale” feeling associated with love. After the relationship ends though, after they’ve gotten over the initial breakup depression, they start to remember the “fairy tale” feeling. Remembering this, they search everywhere to find this feeling again; missing the ‘high’ that it gave them. I can say myself that the “fairy tale” love feeling is one of the greatest feelings out there, and definitely something worth having. I believe that being a love addict comes from wanting that amazing love feeling again, because it makes the person feel better about themselves knowing that someone loves them unconditionally.
ReplyDeletei think that some people fall in love and become love addicts while others fall in love but do not because everyone is differewnt. a lot of times like david mentioneed people let themsevles be vunerable and according to the theory today in class people want affection inclusion and control. as a child we want physical touch and to feel a sense of belonging. and there is nothing adnormal about that desire or want. babies need love. everyone needs love to even function well. i think that it's a matter of biology in part yes because or the dopimine levekls and testrome and estrogen balances. seratonin plays a roll too. our brain produce chemicals that produce what triggers us to feel love or lust. but also though addicts have certain personality traits and types that are normally associated with their upbringing as well so not completely biological aspect but many factors factor in. Life scripts are peopes roles and as women and men desire naturally someone that looks simular has diffeernt immune systm traits DNA people feel attractions to people and natrually want to reproduce inlife so the script of wanting to do just that is a role that is natural and biological. Attachment styles such as being clingy or secure and maeb the opposite insecure and scared of committment people may or may not want to be with others or find themselves suching for that sense of beelonging and acceptqacne ans love. Self-esteem plays a role too. people say like myself dont like they deserve better or settle and that stems from the influence of others and life sytle enviroment. but like i said every person is diffeent in at least a slight way.
ReplyDeleteI,m going to answer this question as most of us would, based of life experiences. I strongly feel that some people fall in love and become addicts while others do not is based on each individuals life scripts . A person who has been raised with their mom and dad married and raising children is very likely to see this as a proper way of life. That person would most likely go on to get married and start a family or at least a long relationship. If for some reason this relationship does not work the only natural thing for them would be to make another attempt at starting a long-term relationship because majority of the time they feel they know how to love. I do have friends that that feel they don't want a relationship because they've never had a serious relationship so they've made it a personal choice not to get attached. At the end of it all every person is different but i do believe a persons life direction makes a person who they are and how they love.
ReplyDeleteI think self esteem plays a major role in being a love addict. I think if your self esteem issue stems from lack of love from a parent o, both parents and or maybe just family in general that you yearn for the love you never received. Whenever someone finally loves you it makes you so happy that you don’t see past the love you are receiving and it can cause cloudy judgment. Sometimes we as humans want to feel love so bad we take it in any way we can get it. We take it the form of abuse mentally, verbally, and physical. A person thinks he hits me because he loves me or he yells at me because he cares. A person in love with love doesn’t see the bigger picture most of the time and makes deadly choices and kills whatever self esteem they may have had when they fall in love with the wrong person.
ReplyDeleteI feel that the people that are addicted to love just always need that person by their side. I think that it helps their self-esteem knowing that someone is there for them no matter what. And some people just cannot stand the fact to be alone, it just drives them crazy and thats pretty much them not getting their drug. For me, i would say that im not addicted to love. I dont always need to have someone there to help my self-esteem or just have that attachment style. I mean if we are in a relationship and i love you, i think thats great and all but im not addicted to it just due to the fact from past relationships it just gets harder and harder to let your guard down and love someone. You have to slowly work your way in and hoping not to get hurt from past mistakes. This is why it is hard to be addicted to love.
ReplyDeleteDepending on the love style of the individual, I believe that would have a big impact on whether or not they would become “love addicts” or not. Some have dealt with various experiences of love with other people which would contribute to molding their love styles and attitude toward it. Although there is a science relevance on it, I don’t think it’s entirely the way it has been perceived. I think a person can alter their own thoughts on the subject and therefore change the odds of whatever was “supposed” to be happening with their emotions. I do agree that self esteem would have something more or less to do with if a person were to be considered a love addict though. Not necessarily saying that a person with a high or low self esteem would be more prone to falling into that category but someone with a lower self esteem might be easier to manipulate and they would be harder to separate from, leaving with them addicted to your love.
ReplyDeleteI believe many different factors go into whether someone becomes addicted to love or not addicted to love, but the one factor that I think has more of an influence than the others is self-esteem, or lack there of. Someone who has a lower self-esteem definitely has a higher chance of becoming addicted to love than a person with a higher self-esteem. The reason behind this is because it makes those people with a lower self-esteem feel better about themselves knowing someone else loves them, and when they feel better about themselves, they are generally happier and relate this feeling of happiness back to being in love and not an increase in self-esteem. On the other hand, a person who already has a high self-esteem won’t become as dependent on love because they don’t necessarily need it in their lives to feel good about themselves.
ReplyDeleteAs the videos stated today our brain produces different chemicals in determining if we really love the person or it is just lust. However, in dealing with a love addict I believe self-esteem is a major factor in why they are addicted to love. As my classmates have already stated, you can love someone, but you do not need them in your life. I believe if you have a firm grip on your life, (school, work, etc.) and you decide that you would like to date then it is fine because you don’t necessarily need a relationship. I see it as a way of asserting that you are confident enough in your self to take on another aspect of your life, as a way to balance it not let it become or overtake you. (But you don’t need it) However, as Britney stated before that a lack of self-confidence stems from a missing piece of affection in someone’s life whether it is from a parent, guardian, grandparent, or friend. A lack of affection can lead for a person to yearn for love to fulfill their needs, and once they get a taste of it they will never go back. It can be dangerous because love can blind you, and for a love addict wherever they seek attention whether in a positive or negative way they will go along with it. I personally am not a love addict, I am in a serious relationship but it does not overcome my daily life and is all that I live for or think about. My boyfriend and I enjoy each other’s company when we are together, but understand that we have other areas in our lives that we have to take care of.
ReplyDeleteI believe the main factors as to why a person becomes a love addict is because they have a lack of self-esteem, they are insecure and is someone who never felt they were important, "special" or "good enough" and may grow up looking to other people for deep security and a need for constant reassurance that they are able to be accepted and or loved. I think it might be traced back to childhood. If a child is loved and nurtured fully from birth then they will likely develop a healthy sense of self identity, self esteem and appropriate boundaries, If it is not received, then it will be the complete opposite, they may develop a sense of self and non-existent or distorted boundaries. When a person has insecurity and low self-esteem, they try to desperately hold on to the people they are addicted to by using codependent behavior and will do anything it takes to fulfill their partners needs in the hope that they will not be abandoned. In all love addiction is just misguided dependency on others in an attempt to fulfill unmet needs.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, after taking the quiz, I now know I’m not a love addict. Honestly, I didn’t really have to continue with it once I got to this question:
ReplyDelete“16. You cannot stand being alone. You do not enjoy your own company.”
…Yeah, no. If I don’t get Me-Time, someone’s day is about to go to Hell.
Honestly, I think that love addicts just have problems with relationships and their own self-worth. From what I’ve seen, love addicts seem to be really clingy and are extremely paranoid that their relationships won’t last long. When in a relationship, generally one can count on their partner for love and support (I hope). However, with love addicts, it’s almost like they don’t know what that feels like, and therefore can’t recognize what it’s like. Whether their partner truly cares for them or not, love addicts don’t feel the self-worth to believe it when they see it.
ReplyDeleteI defiantly believe people become addicts due to many different factors,people become love addicts because they have show a low self esteem due to their lower standardsThese people view themselves lower than everyone else, they are sometimes use to the person and can not let go. I believe It is defiantly influenced by different attachment styles also. Many people might be addicts to their relationship because they are scared to be alone. In comparison to non love addicts, non addicts are very independent, they tend to live life without the need of a partner. I believe people become love addicts due to different factors such as low self esteem issues, different attachment styles and a mixture if biology
i think that love "addicts" become addicts the way others become addicted to other substances. most people who have become addicts have low self esteem needing to feel important they enter relationship after relationship as if having another person validates their existence. when those people are rejected they take it personally as if they had done something to chase the other away, and maybe they did low self esteem tends to breed neediness, but that in turns can make them lower their expectations of their new partner. normal people generally have a high self worth and independence they may love an other person, but if the relationship goes sour they won't be out of control.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest I feel that people fall in love with someone because of neglect or something like that in their childhood life. The reason that I feel they become love addicts is because they have only have one of the three things that you need to be in love with and care about love. I really cant say yes or no to the biology part of the question because it can be but as we really don’t know much about the brain and are past you really cant tell just like you have people saying that we came from apes do I believe that no I sure don’t but there is evidence that it could be true so the whole biology thing is a 50/50 thing for me. I do feel that life scrip’s are apart of it just as well as self-esteem issues because I had that issue after I have gained almost 60 pounds un answered and it is a big self esteem thing because if you don’t have you will feel like you don’t deserve what you think you do deserve.
ReplyDelete