With
more than 30 years of experience as a marriage counselor, Dr. Gary
Chapman's 5 Love Languages has helped couples at every stage of
marriage and at pivotal points in their relationships. After many years of counseling, Dr. Chapman noticed a pattern:
everyone he had ever counseled had a “love language,” a primary way of
expressing and interpreting love. He also discovered that, for whatever
reason, people are usually drawn to those who speak a different love
language than their own. Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key
categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and
comprehensive—everyone has a love language, and we all identify
primarily with one of the five love languages: Words of Affirmation,
Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
Since
The 5 Love Languages® debuted in 1992, over seven million copies have been sold, making
The 5 Love Languages® a perennial
New York Times bestseller.
1) Find out what Love Language you speak at :
Love Language Test
2)
Blog about what Love Language you speak and share with us an example of
either how you showed someone you loved them using your "Love Language"
or how you knew that someone cared about you by what they said or did
through their "Love Language".
I did my test and I scored an 11 out of a possible 12 on Words of Affirmation. I found it accurate although I am an affectionate person and I like for the woman I am with to be affectionate with me as well. I think I like words though because I like to analyze the person who I am with. What she tells me I listen to, not just hear. Her choice of words and when and how she tells me is something I really notice and take to heart. I think I have mentioned before that most of my relationships have been really intense. They become intense because I am stimulated by what a woman tells me. Physically I already know what I like so when I find someone that I like physically and then on top of that I hear what I like it really attracts me. I like for a woman to tell me what is on her mind and what she feels and ants. I like my ego to be rubbed so when she compliments me or tells me what I want to hear it really intensifies my feelings for her.
ReplyDeleteI took the test and scored in the “Acts of service area”. It didn’t shock me much because I kind of knew this already. I’ve dated in the past and noticed that when I needed help with school, work, or something personal. I get really excited seeing the person who takes her time out to help me with my task. It always makes me feel like I’m important to them. It also makes me feel like they’re taking their time out to help me personally with things that matter a lot to me. If I need my son to be picked up, or help with taking him to his baseball games for example. And this person went out of their way to help with this. I would feel much loved. There are other things that catch my eye too. But I guess being a parent and knowing when you need help with stuff that’s important to you and get the help on it. It really does mean a lot coming from that person, and makes you feel like you can count on them.
ReplyDeleteI got 11 out of 12 for Quality Time which is pretty accurate for me and the second highest that I got was acts of service, and the third was words of affirmation. That seems to be in the pretty correct order for me personally. I think Quality Time suits me because whether it's a significant other, or family members or even friends I feel like I'm showing I care about them by spending quality time with them and that makes me feel closer to them too. I think quality time is critical obviously because if you love or care about that person you want to be with them or around them whenever possible I feel like I get a better connection to that person. The second way that makes me feel "important" is Acts of Service. I'm BIG on actions speak louder than words, I've been in SO many situations whether it's with a boyfriend, friends, even family where if this is lacking I feel like it's going nowhere. If this person is more about words and doesn't take action somehow I feel the need to cut them off. I'm so strong about that because when I say something I like to keep my word and actually take action that's my way of showing I care and my type of character so in a way I do like to expect that from others. I feel like you shouldn't have to FEEL FORCED to do something for someone else if you truly care. If you don't care don't feel forced because that's misleading and then it can start a even bigger fight. Like this test said "when others serve you out of love and not obligation, you feel truly valued and loved".
ReplyDeletei took the love language test and scored close on the quality time, physical touch and . quality time was my highest though. In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention.these discription is accorate. it is very important to just be together spend that time together and feel important to other person in the sense they want to spend their time with me and that shows love to me that at least they enjoy your presence. the discription said i am the kind of person that enjoys time with the tv off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. i am not that huge on that stuff. as long as they do want to spend time with me im good. so watching the gamw together or going to a baseball game or something we share in common can be very rewarding to the relationship and build a deeper stronger bond and strenghening our connection. physical touch is important to me too though. that someone shows affection and compassion is always nice. who doesnt like to feel loved? actions dont always speak louder than words though according the words of affirmation. i jhave to admit i f=do enjoy those compliments and statements of love. i think that this stems from the prosonna of love that movies present to us. that is suppose to be ideal and so picturesque i do enjoy someone telling me hoe they feel. for example of me using these love languages is when i want to go fishing or hunting or something outdoors these activities allow us to have quality time together and in close quarters. also nice to just have fun dooing something in common withthem. also another example is when i like cuddleing up close in a movie or maybe watching something on tv together and feeling close to him. and that he wants to be close to me with say at night my head on his chest. and i think my ex it was cute we did this really corny stupid thing. where at first before we were actualy together at night or bed time he and i would send each other a sweet goodnight text message. well we when together at night actually kept thaqt up in a way we would say a detailed sweet good night before we curled up together. it was just nice to know he felt the same as i did.
ReplyDeleteAfter taking my love language test, my results showed that I actually tied with the Words of Affirmation as well as the Quality time aspects of it. Once I read each badge and the meanings behind them I couldn’t agree with them more. I am such a sucker for sweet talk and it means a great deal when people actually listen to me. I feel that I always talk to my boyfriend with kind words and build him up with compliments as often as I’d like. Every morning we say “ good morning” with something sweet to follow, a cute nickname or just something nice even as simple as “have a wonderful day” or “I love you”. I try to always tell him he’s handsome and just build his self esteem letting him know I’m only interested in him and no one else can capture my attention. Especially being long distance for a good portion of the year, our words and communication are vital to the growth and success of our relationship. He goes to college in Iowa and and I remain here in Texas so being aware of our love languages definitely assist in strengthening our relationship as well. He agreed to taking this test on love languages right now also and actually scored the same areas of importance as I did, so to me that displays that we’re on the same page of communication which is assuring. We always try to do nice things for one another even if it’s something minor and simple, the little things count and deserve appreciation too.
ReplyDeleteI actually took this test a few months ago because my roommate took it for a class and showed it to me. I was tied between words of affirmation and physical touch. This is pretty accurate for me, I love it when a guy compliments me or gives me a hug or a pat on the back. These are also ways that I show love towards others. I try to give out compliments freely because I know how much of a difference they can make in someone's day. Because my boyfriend lives in Missouri, I am limited to using only words to convey how I feel. We try to visit each other as much as possible but traveling back and forth gets expensive and so we take advantage of when we can be together, however communication is definitely vital to making it work. I really miss being able to kiss him or even just rub his shoulders or have mine rubbed when one of us is stressed out, but as long as I am still able to give and receive words of affirmation I do just fine :)
ReplyDeleteMy highest score was under the category of quality time but very close in words of affirmation, which is accurate. I notice this in my daily life and activity either with my family, significant other, or friends. For example, I love visiting my friends since we are very busy we all decide on a day to go hang out at someone’s house about once a week and either play board games, watch movies, or have dinner. Also, in regards to the relationship with my boyfriend, we are both very busy people, always on the go. Since this is a factor in our relationship, we have both collaborated in choosing a day once a week to meet with each other and spend quality time. We usually, go to the bookstore, movie, whatever we feel like doing at the time, and I think that is what makes our relationship work because we both get our needs met by spending time with each other. Spending time together, and listening how each other’s week have been and supporting one another makes me feel safe and comfortable. I believe one of the love languages we have in common is in hearing words of affirmation. I know he loves hearing supportive words in whatever project or goal he is working towards since he is a musician, and he also includes me in his brainstorming and always loves feedback from me. Compliments are nice pats on the back, which also goes both ways for me as well I love telling him about my up-in-coming projects were we both brainstorm and collaborate to create new ideas, hearing “good job” or “that’s a great idea” is very satisfying. For the most part, I think since we have similar love languages we meet and fulfill each other’s needs.
ReplyDeleteAfter taking the quiz I scored 11 out of 12 in quality time. I find that this is true about me not in the sense that I want to be sufficated by you or want all your time for me but in the sense that when I do get time with you I want to spend time doing things with someone and not feeling left out. I like to share and bond with my significant other, and if we are having a date night where it is just me and him I would like your undivided attention because I can assure you that you have mine for the night. With me it has always been that actions speak louder than words and if you say your going to do something do it, this is how come I think that showing that I come before anyone on those days or nights where it's just me and that person makes me feel special, wanted, and appreciated.
ReplyDeleteI took my test and scored best in the quality time category. I think it was accurate. I think quality time is important. You have to have good quality time with someone and not have it interrupted. Spending time with a friend or love one can make you feel a lot better. It can help you in any aspect of life. Quality time can help you a lot. For having that as my love language profile, it feels great to have taken that test. It shows that I value the quality of my communication and how it is supposed to be done. I can tell my girlfriend that I love her without saying the words “I Love You” but can do it by giving her my full and undivided attention. By listening to someone with full and undivided attention I get the best of what they're saying and I will not make them feel bad by only listening to their deals with a half ass attitude
ReplyDeleteI tied between Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. After reading the descriptions for both, I’d say that they seem to be accurate for me. I’m not one to fish for compliments and try to get people to tell me what I want to hear, but it just feels nice when someone chooses to tell you words of encouragement or something nice because they wanted to, and not because they felt obligated or pressured to (at least I’d like to think so). Sometimes when I’m having a terrible day or am in an off mood, it’s great to be able to hear something uplifting especially if it’s from someone who is important to me. I think this probably means a lot to me just because when I was younger I rarely heard any words of affirmation from my family, so now I’m able to really appreciate things of this sort now when I hear it. Quality time is also very important simply because nowadays it seems hard for people to drop what they’re doing to make time for you to just listen and talk when you really need it. I find that another issue is that for many people conversations seem to go in one ear and out the other, so whenever someone does give me their company and undivided attention, it makes me feel like they genuinely do care about me and enjoy being around me. Whenever I sense that I don’t have someone’s undivided attention or that they’re not willing to suggest spending time and getting together, I pretty much take it as a sign that I’m insignificant in their eyes.
ReplyDeleteFor my love language i scored a 10 out of 12 for Quality Time and I can relate to this because i believe quality time is an important factor when it comes to your family, friends, or your significant other because it shows you enjoy their company and shows you care about them because you are spending your spare time with them. Just those particular gestures and expressions can help strengthen the bonds between loved ones and it goes the other way around as well. Spending quality time gives you the time to really get to know one another and gives you a connection by spending one on one time. It is time dedicated exclusively to building a stronger relationship with family members, friends or a significant other.
ReplyDeleteFor some people its understandable if quality time is not always a must for them because of the fact that they like to have their own time once in a while rather than being around someone "24/7" or maybe they already get too much of it, but i believe there should be times when you spend quality time with the people you care about the most just to show them you care and show you still want to have a close bond.
An example that relates to my love language would as a matter of fact be this past weekend. I suggested to the family we get together to have a BBQ just to spend some time together. We always talk about it but never get around to it because we do get busy with our daily lives that we don't see each other as often as we should. So we did that and I loved the time we spent together.
I scored 12 on act of Service. Looks like it’s true. Acts mean more to me then words. I heard somewhere then the distance between lie and truth is the palm of your arm. In other words it’s the distance between your eye and your ear, because we can see the truth with our eyes and hear the lie with our ears. It’s better to see something once with your own eyes, then to hear about it all the time. When I was dating my husband I didn’t’ pay attention to his “love words”, but every act of attention and affection to me was telling how he feels. If somebody tells me ”Your husband is cheating on you” it wouldn’t mean a lot as long as I can see he loves me. The rest would be irrelevant.
ReplyDeleteMy second language was quality Time. I really like spending time with a person I love. It can be whatever, fishing, watching stars, swimming, playing card or board game, cleaning the house, watching TV, hunting, or whatever, because I like so many things.
I scored an 11/12 for Words of Affirmation, which didn’t surprise me too much. Nothing makes me happier than getting praised. While I do like my Quality Time (7/12), it actually somewhat bothers me when people just stop what they’re doing to listen to me (unless, you know, I’m in hysterics or something); it just makes me feel like I’m disturbing them and they’re waiting for me to shut up so they can get back to whatever it is they were doing before I came along and ruined it.
ReplyDeleteNow that I think about it, I kind of feel a person (specifically someone in power, like a parent or a teacher) doesn’t like me when I don’t receive a word of encouragement, or whatever accomplishment of mine isn’t all that great when I don’t get a “Good job!” I especially remember when I was younger and I would get an A or something just as awesome I would feel completely crushed when my mother didn’t acknowledge it the way I hoped she would. To me, my mother shows me love through her praise, and as I got older, I think she realized that.
I took the test and was tied between physical touch and quality time. I can understand because when I do spend time with friends or family I feel that I am affirming my affection for them. physical touch though I'm not to sure about because I feel that I'm not a touchy person but i suppose it is nice when I do get hugs or give hugs in return. Before this test I would have thought I had thought I'd have scored the highest in word of affirmation, communicating what you feel is a big thing for me I do like to tell the people I love that I care about them as apposed to hugging or touching them all the time.
ReplyDeleteFor my results on the language love test, I scored 11 out of 12 in Quality Time, which really doesn’t surprise me at all. After reading the descriptions of the five love languages, Quality Time is definitely the one I connect with the most. I think it’s really important just to spend time and be with the ones that you love, whether that be your family, your friends or your significant other. I feel like that closeness with each other is what brings you together more and can strengthen your relationship bond. I could be doing literally anything, maybe even nothing, but as long as it’s with someone I love like a family member or one of my best friends or my boyfriend, I know I’m going to have a good time solely based on who I’m with. My next highest scored love language on the test was Words of Affirmation, which I also agree with about myself. I like giving the people I love compliments and words of encouragement because I know it can make them feel better or even turn their whole day around, and it’s definitely something I don’t mind getting in return.
ReplyDeleteI scored the highest in the quality time category, and it really didn't surprise me too much. Whether it is in a relationship, or when I'm with my family, I enjoy spending time with them, without the every day distractions. When I'm dating someone especially, I tend to place my phone somewhere besides on my person, and leave it there. Unless a family member of mine is calling, there's no reason to be on my phone. I believe that when I am with somebody, they should have my full and undivided attention. A boyfriend, or girlfriend, should never have to play second fiddle to a phone. If you're going to spend your time doing something else besides actually spending time with the person that your'e dating, what is the point in you dating them? It's also just a concept of respect though. I know that when I'm dating someone and we start a conversation, they will have my full attention, no matter what. I feel that giving someone your full attention is just a nice thing to do, and really does show the person that you care about them. It's one thing to SAY that you care about someone, but unless your actions show the same thing, your words will be empty and meaningless.
ReplyDeleteWell I’m really shocked that I am a receiving gift person because I’m more of a non touching guy and I show my love really weird but it does kind of right one for me I guess. When we do things around the house I take charge and I do most of the hard work and clean up around the house. While we are talking about love language I feel that my misses shows hers by cooking dinner and making sure I have coffee if I need which I always do. She also shows her love language by just walking up and saying “ hay have I told you how much I love you and how proud I am to call you mine” and that is all I need most of the time except for when it comes down to cleanliness which is a big thing for me since I was in the military and she is still active duty.
ReplyDeleteThe love language shared with me most often is acts of service. I have had dinner cooked clothes washed and dishes done for me. I love this act of love because going to school taking care of kids and working is a hard job and every little bit helps. Act of service is the love language I scored the highest in. it speaks to my heart when a man helps out around the house. it makes me feel like you’re paying attention to me. You notice I need help and you try to accommodate me. Helping me get whatever you notice I need done so I can relax and be free of stress. As far as my acts of love go 9 times out of ten I make sure my significant other comes home to a clean house and dinner. I always do laundry and other household chores to keep my home comfortable and desirable.
ReplyDeleteMy love language that i got was Quality Time. I agree with the quality time, because i actually like to sit down and have a conversation with the person im talking too and see what i can do to help. For example, i was texting this girl and she told me that she was upset and frustrated. So i told her that im here if she needs anyone to talk to and she didnt think i really wanted to listen to what was going on, but i wanted to here it because i wanted see if i could give any helpful advice and just try to make her feel better about the situation. So we talked about the issue and i tried to help out the best i could and i think my advice actually made her feel better and got her to laugh a little (which always helps). Most guys dont like to listen to girls vent there problems out, but i just see it as a way to help them out and get their emotions under control.
ReplyDeleteAfter taking the self-assessment, I discovered that I am equally likely to express my love through words of affirmation and quality time. This, I consider, is very accurate as I often seek out for people's approval of my opinions, skills, intellect, etc. My self esteem increases greatly when people notice my absence and make it known when my actions bring them joy. In regards to quality time, I find a nice conversation, sports competition, as well as a video game tournament with my loved ones, to be a more gratifying experience than a gift exchange per se. I find true value in discovering people's opinions, thoughts, doubts, and fears through conversation, as I feel that it helps me to perceive their persona in a more accurate manner, as well as enhancing the extent of my knowledge by listening to other's opinion on important issues related to the human experience. Additionally, I ranked acts of service to be my third more common language of love. I attribute this to the fact that, from a very early age, I was taught to show respect to others by helping them achieve simple tasks. In fact, I am often recognized for practicing simple acts of service unto others without taking notice, such as: holding a door, pulling out a chair, giving up my seat for someone who does not have a seat, etc. Actions speak louder than words; it is possible for someone to swear their love for you, but if the person does not express their love through actions, their perception of love may be flawed.
ReplyDeleteyour connection with others through sharing time
ReplyDeleteI scored the highest on quality time, I got 10 out of 12. According to the test, i am very critical on the attention you give me. giving me your full attention make me feel special and loved , this is the time I share those deep connection moments with my loved one. Surprisingly , this is very true, i always want your full attention if I am talking , it makes me feel important and loved. Even with my girlfriends, I want love it when we spend hours just talking listening to each other at Starbuck. This actually happened to me a few weeks ago, I meet with one of my old friends for lunch. We had not seen her in over three years due to change in schools and I was always busy with shook and work. We meet up at a restaurant and when we sat down we had so many things to talk about that my appetite was gone I was to busy giving her my full attention, that I forgot I was starving.We were their for four hours that we left the restaurant and left to Starbucks to continue our conversation.